Hey! All the artists out there!positively-hopping
It is okay if your art doesn't get much attention, it is still amazing and you have done a great job. I am proud of you
I like to Say Things because I have found that I am very willing to Say Things that I am not willing to Think about. Like, if I Think I get very wrapped up in hypotheticals and possibilities and uncertainties. But if I just Say it, I will Say it very succinctly and without unnecessary nonsense.
Aromanticism gave me a new and improved way to understand romance. No, really.
My weird middle school years unfortunately coincided with the media sensations that were Twilight, the Hunger Games, and One Direction. 12 year old American girls seemed to love these things. Characters were referred to as husbands, Tiger Beat articles were fawned over, and this all went way over my head. To complicate things, I already knew at that point that I wasn't a girl like I was alleged to be at birth, so I spent a long time assuming that was the issue. I did not think these actors were cute, because they were boys and girls thought boys were cute, and I was not a girl. Simple. I could get out of many conversations by claiming the unpopular ones to be my favorites, so there was no one I had to fight over for the right to any of them, and content was scarce so I did not have to be very invested. In the realm of Twilight, I chose Jasper. No one wanted to talk about Jasper. My teen girl obligations could be avoided.
This nonsense continued into high school. The LGBT+ crowd was a little bigger (read: actually existed)at my high school, so I was able to be out as non-binary and dislike boys as much as I wanted. So I thought. Suddenly, I was obligated to like girls.
Now, I realize I should take a step back and explain "like" for what it meant back in the days of teenagerdom. This meant posters on bedroom walls, this meant referring to yourself with the person's last name, this meant reading fanfiction, this meant being very emotionally invested. This was not a performance I could do.
We'll skip ahead and avoid the messier parts, but evenutally I came across the term aromantic. Which meant I also came across the fact that yes, that "like" concept was very normal not just for teenagers but also for adults. I was terribly confused. I had watched people get into relationships that would last for a few under-whelming weeks and I assumed it was for the benefits of lunch room social status and a guaranteed Homecoming date. I thought these reactions to fictional characters were more about claiming territory or having a weird hobby than any actual emotion. I was wrong.
Being able to situate myself in the aro identity has given me a new, and frankly better, way to address the emotions and trends of my peers. Honestly, spending years of my life assuming people were being dramatic on purpose as a way of gaining or asserting social status was not the healthiest. It hasn't been until recently that I've been able to move away from the mindset that romance is a horrible thing. It is simply a strong emotion that I don't experience. The assumption that I did experience it was always, and continues to be, the worst part.
The aro community has also allowed me a new concept of romance and love. I have learned from demi's and gray's that romance can look very different than what I've seen in my non-aro peers. I've learned that love can exist without romance. I've learned that the large spectrum of ways to experience romance, from "not at all" to "passionate teenager" to "happily married for 70 years" levels, don't have any value outside of the value an individual chooses to grant them. I, for one, am absolutely thrilled about this new way to understand romance and love and attraction. Being reliant on unpopular side characters was simply not as fun.
Done for Asexual Awareness Week! I drew my Asexual dragon, who had been designed back during my very first inktober in 2016. This year though she is joined by demisexual and graysexual baby dragons.
I made some emoji-size edits of twitter's lgbt & trans flag svgs:
feel free to use them however you want, no credit needed!
What are some differences in your daily life that you feel might be tied to your identit(y/ies) and/or amatonormativity? How has discovering your identit(y/ies) changed the decisions you’ve made in life, or future decisions you plan to make?
Did you know that a lot of people have their first crush by the age of 18? At age 18 I didn't even know what a crush was. I was still thinking (and sometimes still do think) that people select dating partners roulette style. I have listened to people fondly describe their first crush, with minute details such as age of them, age of the crush, what their crush frequently wore, what they liked about their crush, etc. I barely remember putting Spotify on shuffle, but here I am listening to it.
I could ramble on and on. Something I hear a lot is that identity is a conscious choice - that you sit down and check a few boxes and then decide that those are enough boxes to change how you understand yourself. I won't argue that this step isn't important, but I will emphasize that this is merely one step on a much longer path for a lot of queer people. My a-spec identity does not begin and end with my choice to use those words for myself. My a-spec identity began when a friend suggested it after noticing that I talked about my middle school "crushes" with disdain, it continues when any media I engage with chooses to have a character arc revolve around feelings I cannot begin to comprehend, it continues when I attempt to make plans for my future and quickly realize how much this society is built around a nuclear family that I do not desire to have.
My a-spec identity continues with feeling my heart swell for a friend and I have to wonder what it means, it continues when I end up googling what it means and I find narratives of passion that seem 10 degrees removed from what I'm experiencing, it continues when someone online, inevitably, says "that's just wanting to be friends". My a-spec identity does not end. There are a hundred unconscious differences that I do not necessarily identify with, but they remain nonetheless.
Making the conscious choice to take on an aroace identity so that I may interact with communities of people with similar experiences to mine has been one of the best things I could have done, but what unconsciously occurs when I interact in an amatonormative and sex-normative world where everyone allegedly desires the same forms of intimacy is as much part of my identity as the conscious parts.
Consciously, this part of me has not greatly affected or changed other parts of me or what I want for myself. The me that didn't identify as a-spec still had no plans to get married, still had no plans to have children, still had plans for an intimate long-term partner that didn't necessarily look like the life partners in media. The me that didn't identify as a-spec decided that sex scenes were a good time to go get more popcorn. The me that didn't identify as a-spec looked forward to a life of living alone with a lot of cats. I don't know if that person/child would have thought any differently had they known they were queer and that a whole legion of people came before them with similar desires and dislikes and used very specific words for it. As I look forward now, I am not particularly thinking of what my aromanticism or asexuality wants. That is all very unconscious. My conscious gets involved only when I find an obstacle, and need someone to ask about it, and remembers that I have an entire community of people who have likely gone through something just like this, and I can turn to them now.
Tragic that I had to see arophobia immediately upon awaking
We had a really good discussion during our Ace&Aro group the other day that I'm still trying to find a full way to process. Several of us shared the feeling that while we knew we had experienced some form of attraction, it had been difficult to express at the time, because any attempt at expressing it had resulted in resounding choruses (from our peers/friends) of "so try dating!", "so try kissing!", and so on. Like, most of us had an attraction or desire that was firmly situated on a pathway separate from conventional romantic or sexual pathways. And we could still name it and respond to it without feeling the need to default to those romantic or sexual schemas. Idk what this means, I just know that it's there.violet-fae
I'm going to use my 666th post to return to this. It wasn't that none of us knew how to conceptualize our attraction, because we did, we all used different words for it, it was the fact that our allo-ro/allo-x peers did not know how to conceptualize it. They knew that when we expressed it, that we expressed it from a state of aromanticism, asexuality, or both, but that was quickly tossed aside because they did not personally know how to fathom an attraction that did not cross into romance or sex (or precursors of those 2).
And I find that interesting because if we were not expected to conform to those frameworks, then how many of us would not have the "frigid" or "heartless" stereotypes pushed onto us? (Extended - How many of us would still get those stereotypes because the attraction that we do feel doesn't "count"?) A fair amount of us knew what attraction/interest was, it just wasn't that kind. And I feel like the general attitudes towards a-spec people is that they don't have any idea what attraction is, but that isn't necessarily true.
We had a really good discussion during our Ace&Aro group the other day that I'm still trying to find a full way to process. Several of us shared the feeling that while we knew we had experienced some form of attraction, it had been difficult to express at the time, because any attempt at expressing it had resulted in resounding choruses (from our peers/friends) of "so try dating!", "so try kissing!", and so on. Like, most of us had an attraction or desire that was firmly situated on a pathway separate from conventional romantic or sexual pathways. And we could still name it and respond to it without feeling the need to default to those romantic or sexual schemas. Idk what this means, I just know that it's there.
this is from stonewall and i know it's just because of the camera or whatever at the time but tell me that person in the upper right hand corner doesn't look like something straight out of r/nosleep
cryptids say the first pride was a riot
hello! i'm zack, a trans freelance illustrator and comic author. i'm the creator of the LGBT fantasy comic Deryli and the Magician's Key and the horror comic RORY.
i also make art tutorials, guides, and custom brushes + assets for clip studio paint! my guides are free to read on my patreon 😊
Deryli Rustmane dreams of following in the footsteps of his father, Lepus Rustmane, Runa's top magic scholar and guardian of one of the legendary Keys of Fate. His plans for the future change, however, when Lepus vanishes in the wake of a magical accident - leaving behind the mystery of his missing key, the Key of Seasons, and a national crisis for the floating Kingdom of Androvea, which cannot stay suspended without it.
Deryli sets off with his best friend and prince of Androvea, Philippe, on a journey to discover the whereabouts of Lepus and the Key of Seasons before Androvea falls from the sky - but their efforts will unknowingly entangle them in the plans of figures with greater, more sinister intentions for the Keys of Fate and the entire world of Runa.
(Mature Rating for blood, violence, death, and drug use)
A cynical male model named Rory just wants to get famous, look good, and make money. He gets the opportunity to do just that when he comes into contact with the elusive and renowned photographer, Roger Van Dijk, who is interested in making Rory the subject of his magnum opus. This dream come true quickly turns into a nightmare, however, as Roger's artistic vision turns into something much, much stranger.
thank you for visiting my page! (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ ‥…━━━★
I know that aromanticism and asexuality are generally defined by a lack of a certain attraction, but let’s remember not everyone in the community falls into the “does not feel it whatsoever” category.
We have quoi- folks who don’t distinguish these attractions in a defineable manner.
We have grey- folks who occasionally, mildly, or possibly experience these attractions.
We have demi-, lith-, fray-, and recip- folks who experience these attractions sometimes.
And I’m sure a few others that I couldn’t think of right away. Attraction isn’t all-or-nothing. Aromantic and asexual might imply zero attraction, but let’s remember to make space in the communities for people who feel minimal or occasional attraction, or are removed from the concept entirely.
A-specs can have little an attraction. As a treat.
Enforcing a Tumblr ban on myself because I got really ferally upset at something I saw on there yesterday and that's just unacceptable in terms of what I want my digital experience to be